When big feelings take over, help them find their way back to calm

Few things land quite like catching a child in an obvious fib. The evidence is right there on the floor, and still they look you dead in the eye and deny it. It’s easy to read that as a warning about honesty, or character, or how things might go years down the line. But the research points somewhere calmer, and a lot more hopeful.

Two children, one toy, and a noise that could strip paint. Anyone who spends time around children knows the sound of a “disagreement”. And most of us know the pull that comes with it, the pull to step in, decide who started what, and hand down a ruling. But the moment an adult becomes the judge, the fight quietly changes shape.

Discipline can be the hardest part of raising or teaching a teenager with ADHD. The usual tools often make things worse, not better.

Grounding for a week. Lost privileges. Another long talk about responsibility, or the lack of it. The teen digs in. Voices rise. Nobody learns much. Sound familiar?